Things are looking up! I've felt great for the last couple of days. I was able to put my trees up and decorate our home. It took me about two weeks from start to finish because I took it so slowly, which is the story of my life these days. It's all done and I feel all happy and festive inside. Here, take a look:
Today was the first time I've felt that returning to work was something I could possibly do. In fact, I got a little bit excited about it. I miss my kids and am dying to see them. I've purchased a little present for each child and I'll deliver them the day before school is out for vacation (Dec. 19). I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy about my sweet first graders. This is probably because Adrianne (my co-teacher) dropped by last week with a disc of Halloween photos of the class. I love, love, love to teach at Halloween time. But, due to the tumor, I missed it all. After looking at these pictures, you can see why I miss them and love them so much.
Today is my oldest daughter's 21st birthday. I don't know how that happened but it did and I'm so proud of the adult she officially is! We (Terry and I) had the privilege of spending the day with her.
The best part? The party! Melissa's friend Susanna planned the whole thing. It was held at a swanky new night club in downtown Provo. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but it's true. The place is called "Sparks" and serves all non-alcoholic drinks. Each person who came got one drink and bottomless appetizers. We all dressed up and had a great time. Have a peek at all the fun...
Melissa and Susi
Erika (my baby daughter), me, Melissa, Susi
(Yes, I curled my hair and my leg is showing above my boots...oh, the horrors!)
Erika with a Shirley Temple. That's cotton candy on top.
That was our favorite part.
Remember...it's non alcoholic!
I loved this little mock appletini. It was like cold wassail. It really put me in the mood for the holidays. Oh, and see my manicure? Terry actually did it! He is an
If you know me well, you know that I like to keep myself busy. I teach school, I work at Bath and Body Works about four days a week, I like to go shopping, etc. I like to keep busy.
So, when I was planning for the big surgery, I had it all planned out that at the magical six week mark I would be perfectly fine and ready to resume my life as I knew it before. WRONG! There is nothing magical about six weeks. In fact, I've been home now for 40 days and I'm still not ready to take on the world.
Every day I have tried to get out and do something...grocery shop, walk in the mall, go to Barnes and Noble. By the time I'm at my destination, I'm ready to come back home. I'm exhausted. I'm so discouraged. I thought I'd be better by now.
I do feel better as far as the pain goes but not as far as the exhaustion goes. I put my problem to the friends I love and trust on my Weight Watchers message board. I got two responses that really made sense to me. They cheered me up and I read them every single day. Thanks to my dear friends Boo and Mo (not their real names obviously) for being so eloquent and also for their permission to post their responses here. They really do explain what I couldn't put into words about my healing.
1st from Boo:
Tami, it takes time. Besides the anesthesia, your body had been severely injured. Yea, the doctors did it purposely and in a controlled way, but your body doesn't know that. It knows it's been injured, and is taking care of itself. Your energy will come back. I promise. Poor sweet Tami. :(
2nd from Mo:
Boo is exactly right. Surgery is major trauma to the body. Think of it like a car accident, or other major trauma. Like Boo said, it was trauma that was very controlled and contained, but still trauma.
On top of that, you had this thing that grew very, very slowly ad started pushing your organs out of the way to make room for itself. Your blood vessels carried blood and oxygen to it, and it was starting to damage some of your other organs. Then, one day, it's gone. So now instead of the slow pushing movement of your organs in one direction, they have this giant space to move back into and slosh around. Ouch. Plus, the organs that the tumor damaged need to heal as well.
All of this requires energy. It doesn't feel like it, because it's not the kind of energy expended when you get up and move, but trust me, your body is expending it. Your cells and processes are using a lot of energy to give you your strength back and get you, not back to normal, but in better shape than you were in.
It takes time. You will get there, young lady (I liked that part). Patience.
Pretty good advice eh? So now I'm being patient and letting my body do it's job.
I absolutely loved this book. Perhaps it is the Canadian-living-in-the-states self talking here, but it made me long for my home in Southern Alberta. Growing up, my father was the maintenance supervisor for the schools in the area. This included the school at two or three of the Hutterite colonies in the area. He would often take me with him on his visits to the colonies. I loved it there and was mesmerized by every nuance of the colony. The baking bread, the chickens roaming free, the homes, the smells, the polka-dots, the braids. I loved going with him. My mother made trips as well. We would often go to purchase eggs, knitted booties and slippers, pick up newly upholstered furniture, and chickens. Every time, we were invited into someone's home to sit down for a visit. Secretly, I wanted to BE a Hutterite just so I could twist my hair back and put on a handkerchief. This book was a trip home for me and I adored it. Mary Ann Kirby is a gifted writer who was able to capture growing up on the colony and later outside of the colony in a way I will not soon forget. I can't wait to make the drive to Canada this summer and visit a colony.
Reading Right Now...
The Alloy of Law: The fourth book in the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson. Something tells me it isn't going to have the same effect on me as the trilogy!
The Kitchen House
Just Finished Reading
Oh my goodness! I owe Jessica Romney a HUGE thank you for recommending this series. I was skeptical at first. But, am so glad I chose to give the Mistborn series a try. Brandon Sanderson is an amazing author. I am now open to a new genre...fantasy. This series though, had even more than fantasy. I felt some strong spiritual undertones throughout this particular (#3) book. I even got a little "misty" at the end. I loved these books. Thanks, Jessica. I owe you and will never question your recommendations again! :)
Also Just Finished Reading...
The author, Sue E. Peterson, is a friend of mine. She sent me this book shortly after the heartbreaking loss of my own husband. It had many wonderful points for me to consider as I read about death and making sense of a new/different life. I appreciated so much of what she said and the metaphors regarding "running" throughout the book. I've never read a book by an author I know (and know very well) personally. Nor, have I read a story based on a person I know and have had conversations with. It was an odd feeling in some respects. Reading different names for each character and each setting sort of messed with my brain a bit. Finally, I put that out of my mind and read with the purpose of gleaning insight about losing a spouse and recovery from grief. I have many turned down pages I'd like to revisit as a result. Thanks for the book, Sue!