Saturday, July 25, 2009

Are You Kidneying Me???

It's taken me a week to finally make this post.  If I hadn't been in shock and awe over my doctor's visit last week, I would have been able to post it then.  So, here is another installment in my medical saga for the year.

I went to my 3 month follow up visit with my urologist, Dr. Platt. (remember that name)  From the beginning, Terry and I were a bit worried about waiting so long after surgery to check to see if my kidney and ureters were doing their jobs.  But, Dr. Platt said it was "standard".  He's a doctor, right?  So we trusted him.

So, at the appointment in his beautiful new facility in the brand new Central Utah Clinic, Dr. Platt came in and looked over my report on his state of the art computer.  He then became a bit put out that I hadn't had an IVP Intravenous Pyelogram.  Like it was MY fault! So he arranged for me to "run downstairs" and get one done.

If you didn't check the link out, an IVP is similar to a CT scan but doesn't take the pictures in a 3D fashion.  The technician took an x-ray of my renal (that word sounds so nasty to me) area before the injection.  Then they insert an IV and squirt the same liquid as a CT scan...a water soluble iodine to show the inner structures of the urinary tract (kidney's, ureters, bladder). *Let me just insert here that I LOVE the feeling of that stuff when it goes in my body...I wonder if that's what getting high feels like, if only for a split second?*  Then the tech takes photos every 20 minutes as the solution passes through the  urinary tract.  No big deal.

(this is not me)

(This is not me either)
This is an xray of a functioning urinary tract.  The top white splotch are kidney's, the white lines are the ureters, and the white bowl at the bottom is the bladder.


Once I was back upstairs to Dr. Platt's office, he came in and called the Radiologist.  Once he got off of the phone he turned to me and the following conversation took place:
(please know ahead of time that I AM NOT LYING about what took place.)

Dr. Platt: Well, there's good and bad in all things.  Let me start with the good news...

(Just so you know, I had seen the x-ray in the IVP room.  The technician let me look but didn't, of course, make a diagnosis.  But, it was pretty obvious what the outcome was so I was interested to see what Dr. Platt had to say.)

Dr. Platt: The good news is that Obama is the president.  Which means, we will be in Iraq longer.  Which means, the world will end sooner.  Which means, Christ will come to the earth sooner.

Me: WHAT????

Dr. Platt: The bad news is, your kidney is not functioning at all and there is nothing we can do surgically to repair it.  

Me: Are you going to take it out?

Dr. Platt: No.  We just leave it in there until it produces stones or multiple infections then we'll remove it.

Me: What do I do in the mean time?

Dr. Platt:  Well, when you're driving your motorbike over a cliff, just think "What did Dr. Platt say?  Oh ya, land on your right side because if you land on your left side, you'll end up on dialysis."  

Me: WHAT???

Dr. Platt: Take care when you play extreme sports...blah, blah, blah...people live with one kidney all the time...blah, blah, blah.

...and on and on.

I honestly was in shock.  People ask me why I didn't ask him more questions.  I was just in shock.  For one, he was such a dork in everything he said.  For another, I was upset about the fact that I didn't really even need to have the surgery in March.  I had even more kidney function before that surgery (30%) than now!

I'm having a hard time recovering from these surgeries.  I'm exhausted all the time.  I'm out of shape.  I'm just not well.  I really need to change some things with my health so I don't turn into an old lady before my time.  I'm a mess.  Thanks to everyone for supporting me through EVERYTHING.  I'll get better.  I'll be myself again...I have to be.  I have a family and a class of first graders to take care of, plus myself.  I know it will get better, it just has to.

Good bye my friend!

(just be forewarned that if my friend Kari reads this, she may have a few choice words to say...that's just Kari.)


Abbie said...

WHAT THE H!!! That is INSANE! Why why WHY?????? That really is crazy. He is crazy! CRAZY! Did we ever like this doctor? Did he do anything good? Why does he still have a job? ARGH!!!! So frustrating! I'm so sorry. So so sorry. But I know you'll recover and get back to being you soon. I know it. We love you. Why do I have to live so far away?

Sue said...

CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! Or maybe more appropriate, PEE! PEE! PEE!
This is ROTTEN.

(Talk to Wayne Schneider - he lost a kidney a few years ago.)

And your Doc is a trip and a half.

Kari said...

Oh, Tami, my love, I have tons of choice words for your asshat of a Dr. but I will try to contain myself on behalf of your other readers.

Ok, I tried to behave, but I just HAVE to tell you that Dr.Dipshit needs to have his ass kicked and I'm about ready to buy a plane ticket and do it for you.

Sorry for offending some of you but well, when they say swear like a trucker, well, I run a trucking company. :P

Rhonda said...

Your doctor seems to have a very large ego with little room for compassion.
I'm sorry to hear you are still struggling with your health. It is not a fun place to be. Thinking of you lots.

Brittanie said...

Seriously.....the biggest bull-shit I have ever heard!!
So sorry!!!

Rainy Day Farm said...

Sounds like you got the doctor from the bottom of his medical school class. They really need to post where they are in the class, so you can avoid them!
I'm with Kari, he is a bigger asshat than Obama! (sorry if you actually voted for him)

Goldie said...

what the hell!!??!!?? I am sorry :( Dr. Platt is a tool and not in a good way.

Keri said...

So sorry to hear this...I hope you get feeling better soon! If you ever need anything, let me know.

PS - Can't you sue this piece of crap doctor of yours?? Medical malpractice or something??

emlizalmo said...

Oh, good HEAVENS! First of all...I am so sorry this is your life right now. We absolutely adore you and wish this whole mess was over. Second...can I slap your doctor? He's our uroligist too. I may have to switch now. Can he at least go back to school to learn some bedside manner? Blech.

Julie said...

I still think your doctor needs a good hard kick to the grapes, know what I mean? SHEESH! What an A-hole!

(I use "a-hole" not to be polite, but because it somehow seems more emphatic than the traditional spelling.)

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